I know this is my photography blog but sometimes I like to share my personal thought since I don’t have another spot for them.

Trying to keep a happy home

Lately all I want is a happy home. My kids have been out of control, there has been a lack of structure and Joe has been gone a lot. This has been going on for some time now, it seemed to get worse when I found out I was pregnant with Emma. I was sick all the time and things were neglected in the house. The kids attitudes started to spiral downwards as I tried to get through the pregnancy. Now that Emma is here, she has brought a ton of happiness in the home as well as some jealousy which is to be expected when new siblings arrive and the others get less attention.

My biggest problem right now is my oldest 7 yr old Lilly.  Lilly is a very strong willed child. I know one day this will come in handy when she needs to stand up for her self and things like that. Right now, it sucks. she sets the mood in the house quickly with her anger and arguing. Her and Claire constantly bicker and fight. Lilly has a problem with being told what to do, she automatically wants to tell me no to every demand. When I send her to her room because she wont do what she is told she starts a huge fit. She says very mean things, she yells and she screams. This can go on for hours… in the meantime I do my very best to keep it together. Sometimes Joe is there to help out. It puts the whole household in STRESS mode. Claire see’s these habits and has been picking up on them like a sponge. SO sometimes I have double the trouble and some how I just keep my cool.

I finally took Lilly to a counselor to get some guidance on this situation. She says Lilly is very strong willed, and very smart which I completely agree with. Lilly knows what is right and wrong but sometimes (most of the time) can’t figure out how to control her self. Luckily, I have realized I need more structure to my parenting. This involves rewards and consequences for most actions on a daily basis. I am talking about small rewards for good attitudes and small consequences for the little things but bigger ones for the really bad stuff. I have also made a chore chart which I hope to stick to this time.

Joe is gone all the time so I do feel like a single mom with the exception of making all of the money. It is hard but I am doing my best. I love having my kids and my family! I just want our house to be a happy place, not a place of chaos! is this to much to ask?

My girls are not always bad. They are so smart and sweet when they want to be. I am proud of them for the little things on a daily basis. My Emma is the sweetest little baby on this planet, she makes me smile all day long. I am so thankful for them and for a loving husband who always takes care of us. It has been rocky at times between him and I but we are 8.5 years into our marriage, and luckily it is getting stronger because we haven’t given up.

As for myself, I am feeling like I need to get myself back. I miss photography, I miss painting and I miss working out. I have been getting a lot more inquiries on my site and hoping to pick up more jobs soon. I just need to figure out how to leave my sweet baby. It is so hard to leave her. I get mad at myself because I keep on trying to paint landscapes with my paints but I forgot how to so I keep giving up. I feel icky about my body but realize it has only been 3.5 months since I was pregnant and I have had three kids and I am approaching 30…and time is going to fast!!!!

alright, I am done with my rant. I just needed to get that out there. I will keep you updated on the progress of our “Happy Home”